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The long road back to myself
11 most recent entries

Date:2008-03-22 11:39
Subject:Yayness
Security:Public

 Before my boss left Clark to go to her new job, she told me she was proud of me. That meant a ton.

I love my class this semester at Holy Cross. I tell people that it's my "study abroad" experience. Plus, I find that people are exceptionally kind (my classmates and the professor), and we're reading Pride and Prejudice. P&P is good, since I have three seminars this semester and about three books to read a week, and Austen isn't exactly heavy reading.

I feel excited about applying to work in development for the next few years, at least. I feel like a job in college fundraising could be really good for me. It has that prestige of "I'm getting gifts of $500 from alumni, but I make $500 a week", which is appealing to me.

So yay. Yay! When I spoke with my mom yesterday, she said that her harp teacher told her that when she feels insecure, she plays louder. So that's what I'm going to do...be louder and bolder and, dare I say it, fabulous.

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Date:2006-07-24 22:44
Subject:Clearly, my first post in eight months deals with elation over a book.
Security:Public
Mood: giddy

Summer is summer...you have to take the good along with the bad. And there's definitely both.

Anywho...
Maybe this is just a normal post-book high, but I cannot describe how incredibly taken I was by Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies.
FUCKING AMAZING. It's one of those books that touches you so much that you can't even put it into words.

A few select quotes (I had to...):
"While the astronauts, heroes forever, spent mere hours on the moon, I have remained in this new world for nearly thirty years. I know that my achievement is quite ordinary. I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination."  - Jhumpa Lahiri, "The Third and Final Continent"

So far, I have a 2-1 record of books read that I absolutely love this summer. What's the other one, you may ask? Two words: Octavia Butler.

One more quote that's so becoming the motto of my life:
"The world begins at the bottom of the stairs." - Jhumpa Lahiri, "The Treatment of Bibi Haldar"

My enthusiasm stil remains unrivaled. Oh em gee indeed.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES IT <------ directed toward the book.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE <------------ to you all (times infinitely and beyond)
Hope all are well.


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Date:2005-11-17 03:55
Subject:
Security:Public

I miss you, Chels. Like Susan said, I'm sorry we weren't able to say goodbye. But we'll always have Jarhead...and that was a lovely last Clark memory to have with you.

In a related story, I'm measuring my life in stress right now.

I love you all.

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Date:2005-11-13 15:23
Subject:Shut up, I don't only update when I'm avoiding work! Really, I don't!
Security:Public

Put an X by the movies you've seen. If you get more than 150, you're a movie whore.

COPY and REPOST ! PLACE YOUR SCORE IN THE SUBJECT LINE

( )Pirates of the Caribbean
( )The Mexican
( )Fight Club
( )Starsky and Hutch
(x)Neverending Story
( )Blazing Saddles
(x)Garden State
(x)The Princess Bride
( )Young Frankenstien
(x)AnchorMan
(x)Napoleon Dynamite
(x)Saw
( )saw 2
( )White noise
( )White Oleander
( )Anger Management
total here : 5

(x)50 First Dates
( )Jason
(x)Scream
( )Scream 2
( )Scream 3
( )Scary Movie
( )Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
( )American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
( )Harry Potter 2
( )Harry Potter 3
( )Resident Evil I
( )Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
total here: 5

( )The Village
(x)Donnie Darko
( )Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x)Finding Neverland
( )13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
( )The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( )White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
(x)Thirteen going on 30
( )I,Robot
( )Dodgeball
( )Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
(x)Deep impact
total here: 6

()KingPin
(x)Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
(x)Meet the Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x)Passport to Paris
( )Dumb & Dumber
( )Dumb & Dumberer
( )Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
( )Halloween
( ) the Ring
( ) the Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
( )Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
( )Secret Window
(x)I Am Sam
(x)The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
( )Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
( )Just Married
( )Gothika
( )Nightmare on Elm Street
( )Sixteen Candles
( ) Bad Boys
( )Bad Boys 2
( )Joy Ride
( )Seven
( )Oceans Eleven
( )Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
total here: 8

( )Lone Star
()Predator I
( )Predator II
(x)Independence day
( )Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(x)ET
( )Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x)She's All That
()Calendar Girls
(x)Sideways
( )Mars Attacks
total here : 6

( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
( )x-men 1
( )X-men 2
( )Catch me if you Can
( )The Others
( )Freaky Friday
( )Ring of Fire
( )The Hot Chick
( )Swimfan
( )Miracle
( )Old School
( )Ray
( )The Notebook
( )K-Pax
total here : 2

(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( )Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) a walk to remember
() Bogeyman
( )Hitch
(x)The Fifth Element
(x)Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
( )Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
( )Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x)Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x)Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x)Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi...
( )Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
(x)Air Force One
( )For Richer or Poorer
( People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
(x)Sound of Music
(x)Parent Trap
( )The Burbs
( )The Terminator
( )Empire Records
(x)Meet Joe Black
( )A Clockwork Orange
( )the Order
(x)Spiderman
( )Spiderman 2
(x) Amelie
total here: 13

(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
( )The Incredibles
( )Collateral
( )The Fast & The Furious
( )2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
( )Closer
total here: 3

(x)Titanic
(x)Saved
( )Bowling For Columbine
(x)Farenheit 9/11
(x)The Sixth Sense
(x)Artificial intelligence
(x)Love Actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted
(x)Princess diaries 1
( )Princess diaries 2
( )Constantine
( )Million Dollar Baby
( )Envy
( )Eurotrip
( )Malibu's Most wanted
( )Big Daddy
( )Black Sheep
(x)The Breakfast Club
( )West side story
total here : 8

(x)A Christmas Story
( )Spanglish
( )Pulp Fiction
( )Sleepover
( )The Evil Dead
( )Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( )The Seed of chucky
( )Vanilla Sky
(x)Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind-
( )Interview With The Vampire
( )The Crow
( )Purple Rain
( )Wayne's World
total here: 3

( )Wayne's World 2
( )21 Grams
( )Blow
( )Edward Scissorhands
( )Clerks
(x)Beauty and the Beast
( )Guess who
( )monster in-law
(x)elf
( )stuart little
( )stuart little 2
( )Chasing Amy
( )Dogma
( )Jay and Silent Bob do degrassi
( ) Mallrats
total here : 2

( )Beetlejuice
( )The Last Samurai
( )The Amityville Horror
( )The Aviator
( )Romeo and Juliet
( )Barbershop
( )Barber Shop 2
( )Beauty Shop
(x)legally blonde
(x)legally blonde 2
( )the forgotten
( )confessions of a teenage drama queen
( )the grudge
total here: 2

Total: 63...haha. So I'm not a movie buff, shoot me.

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Date:2005-09-05 20:59
Subject:Oh boy. Can of worms like whoa...
Security:Public

1. Reply with your name, and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you should post this on your journal.

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Date:2005-08-10 23:10
Subject:Summer 2005 Jonah style - a play in five acts
Security:Public
Mood: crazy

Act One - So I started off the summer really emo because I was missing my Clarkies incredibly, not feeling a connection with my hometown or the people in it at all, and was having strained relationships with my mom and dad and people like that. The themes of his act were most evident in four out of five LJ entries in this journal.

Act Two - I took Psych 101 at Bunker Hill Community College and loved it. I'm pretty sure I did really well, and the people in my class were so cool. There were a lot of people who attended the college as well as working professionals, and everyone was wicked cool. Class discussions were just so interesting because of the widely vaoried viewpoints that were almost refreshing from the at-times homogeneous state of Clark, no matter how much diversity they advertise.

Act Three - I went with my family to Quebec and returned this past Sunday, only to enter into a packing frenzy for reasons explained later. It was really nice and relaxing, and I did a lot of the tourist thing as well as large amounts of swimming and biking and that fun stuff. Family did drive me a little crazy, but I probably did the same thing to them...oh well. Also, it's beautiful there and to come back to the at-times ghetto that is Worcester, MA is mondo depressing.

Act Four - I worked as a group leader at SummerARTS, which is kind of an RA of sorts (see the foreshadowing here?) for a group of 7-8 year old children and their parents. SummerARTS really is my favorite time of the year and while I had a lot of hypochondraics with violent or diva-like antics for campers, I got through it with my fantastic staff (kudos to Ben and Erin and Lauren, among others) and now miss my kids incredibly. And now for the biggest news of all (drumroll please), on the last day of work during the staff party, I WAS CALLED BY THE RLH OFFICE AND OFFERED AN RA POSITION IN WRIGHT, which I of course accepted. It was difficult because I felt like I screwed Scott over horribly as well as the fact that so many of my Clark friends were fucked by the housing lottery, but I feel that it's the best decision for me and my parents. Even though I had to pack really quickly, I was mondo excited (and still am, largely).

Act Five: So here I am, residing in Wright 212 and going through the long process of training and being a pseudo-RA. I've met some of my advisees already who seem really cool and easy to get along with, which is nice. I'm not entirely in my element here yet, but I'm getting there slowly but surely. The Wright Hall RA staff are really cool, and we've been having dinner together and doing movie nights and stuff. Best of all, I get to see Kate, Kat, Michelle, and so many others on Friday and get to see the rest of my Clarkies (the majority of whom live really close to Wright) in 14 DAYS! So all the forementioned people must come visit me, or else there will be consquences!!!

This is all so exciting. Goodnight for now, I love you all.

Jonah

P.S: Kat, I got your postcard and it made me so happy. I kind of love you :-).

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Date:2005-07-19 19:23
Subject:Because a) it made me laugh, b) it's something to post and c) Ben nagged me about updating
Security:Public
Mood: hot

This was the best article I've read in a while:
http://www.jrn.columbia.edu/studentwork/cns/2002-06-10/591.asp

Everyone say it with me: "Awww..."

Life is pretty good.

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Date:2005-06-19 20:48
Subject:Because I'm a dork (and an extremely lazy one too, in today's case)
Security:Public

Nothing like a good Buffy quote/episode to make a bad day better.

From "Amends":
"Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do."

Dorking out + pointless, vague post = me.

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Date:2005-06-09 15:46
Subject:The long entry you've all been waiting for...
Security:Public

So I been feeling like my life is just this never ending work shift and my life in between shifts has been a lot of sleeping/reading. Truthfully, though, I am working a lot. I worked six days in a row (last Wednesday-Tuesday) and a double on Saturday (which was the hottest day by far in this heat wave). When talking/complaining to my mom about that, she told me that it's basically the case with everyone. So that of course makes me so look forward to being an adult and having a grown-up, 9-5esque job. But I digress...

I like a lot of things about working. CMCB isn't really a relaxing atmosphere, but it feels like a far more professional and mature job than Roche Bros. My mom is kind of intense, but it's okay because I love her incredibly. Roche Bros. is also intense and kind of hectic, and I dislike getting involved with all the work politics and having people complain to me about the managers incessantly. When that happens, I usually make some noncommital comment like "Oh" and "Aww, that's too bad", and generally start to feel really uncomfortable. The complainers usually have this outrageous stories on how our bosses are so tyrannical and denied them phone calls to their terminally ill loved ones (or something like that), and it's just like...sigh.

Monday, I started my class in Boston. It was actually really good, despite the professor. There's a lot of participation going on by the students and there's a lot of diversity within the class and what seems to be a mix of nursing students/nurses, professionals, and community college students (I think I'm the only student from another college there). As mentioned before, the only thing that I dislike about the class is the professor. She's not preparing us well at all for the exams (she was 35 minutes late for class yesterday and rushed through the part of the reading I had trouble with), she seems often disorganized and not prepared for class (like she forgot to give us a supplemental reading that was assigned for next class and will most likely be on the exam), and on a strictly superficial level she wears these awful dresses that remind me of something my second grade teacher would sport. Madame Spingler, anyone? But, on the other hand, people in the class (both the younger people and adults) seem really cool. Yesterday I sat next to and chatted with this nice nursing student who graduated from NHS in '94 and works at MGH. Randomly we discovered that we're from the same town. *cue "It's a Small World"*

Hung out with Elizabeth yesterday, which was really nice. We were supposed to go bar-hopping in Boston, but I was running late and missed the train we were going to take in. I felt bad, but we made the best of it and had a really nice conversation as always. We may or may not try our excursion again...either way works well for me.

Moodwise, I've been pretty happy. A few random bouts of insecurity and all, and generally a feeling that being home really is just a hiatus from who I really am and my "real life" that exists when I'm at Clark. I wonder if it's a college thing to feel this way and if other people can sympathize/understand. Also, I've decided that my awkwardness is just who I am. Some days it manifests itself more than others, but I manage to get stuff accomplished despite it. Today I was feeling a bit insecure because at work I had to leave reminder messages on about a dozen answering machines and rambled more often than not on what I was going to say. But really, I'm happy with who I am and realize that it's 1) a lot of me making it out to be worse than it actually is 2) who I am. Becca would call this something like self-actualization, if I recall correctly. So yay for the self-actualized me.

Also, for my class, we have a paper/presentation due that's worth about half the grade (which is good because I'm familiar with that format whereas a lot of students aren't). I was thinking about a paper/presentation topic when I was on the T coming home from class on Monday when this guy sitting across from me started vocalizing his complaints about how the ride was going "so fucking slowly" and how it could probably walk there faster (the whole situation hadn't phased me in the slightest). I knew other people were thinking the exact same thing and he was the only one who actually said what he felt, and for that he got a lot of weird stares. It occurred to me that talking on the T amidst a group of strangers is so taboo, and I was curious as to why it was a social no-no. Thus I came up with a kind of rough topic on the social interactions of strangers and why people are predisposed (either genetically or due to their upbringing) to be so avert to contact with people outside of their niche. I realize that people have good reason to do this on the T, because people in the same car could potentially be muggers, murderers, or the next Michael Jacksons, but the idea of aversion to strangers related to psych. seemed interesting nonetheless. Ideas/criticisms welcome.

I could keep on rambling more and go on these diatribes about Buffy and all, but that's MORE THAN ENOUGH for now.

<3 Jonah

P.S: Kate, sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but unfortunately all paying jobs at CMCB are filled. A short (one day? one week?) mini-internship with the drama teacher (or in some other field) might be possible though. You can contact my mom at 617-482-7494 x26 (her name's Lucy)if you're still interested.)
P.P.S: As for the previous entry list with my 10 favorite songs, I'm choosing not to tag any of the people on my friend list to do the same thing to save both the sanities of both them and me. So there.

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Date:2005-06-07 13:13
Subject:Because I was tagged by Melissa...
Security:Public

*List your current ten favourite songs, then pick six other people who have to do the same.*

1) Ani DiFranco - Joyful Girl
2) Ani DiFranco - Swandive/You Had Time
3) Kenny Loggins - House at Pooh Corner
4) Once More With Feeling (BtVS) - Standing in the Way/Wish I Could Stay
5) Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes (acoustic)
6) Jack Johnson - Fortunate Fool
7) Wicked - I'm Not That Girl
8) UPenn Off-the-Beat - Cradle and All (Ani cover)
9) Avenue Q - Schadenfreude/Everyone's a Little Bit Racist
10) Counting Crows - Mr. Jones

(I always find it difficult to list my 'x number' favorite songs/movies/etc, so this was rather daunting to me and I had to refer back to my iTunes many times. Also, I was going to do a long update but got lazy and decided to put that off until later. But it'll happen soon. Lastly, HAPPY BELATED (does one day still count as belated?) BIRTHDAY ALYSA!)

Edited July 19, 2005. And shut up. I know I have more than 10 songs listed.

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Date:2005-05-29 19:50
Subject:First Entry
Security:Public

Sigh.

It's so weird being home for the summer. Comforting in that I won't have to deal with college classes for another 3 months or so, but also disconcerting in that I lived for nine or so months on my own (not consecutively, but still) and now that's all taken away from me by having to live with parents again. My independence was taken away, goddammit, taken away! Angsty, who me?

So I haven't been doing much lately. Kinda in a weirdish funk due to boredom/work monotony/bad weather, though I have stuff to do. I've been working a lot, seeing friends, reading, writing, running a little (when I get my gym membership next week I'll go more, I promise), watching way too much Buffy, and not cleaning my room. My parents are all about me creating structure for myself, and I'm trying to convince both them and myself that I am, but I think my idea of happiness and "summer" is far different than theirs, so it becomes grating.

Not that I'm super-depressed or anything. Things will get better. We had a suprise party for my sister today, which was fun, but I felt a bit out of place. Tomorrow my family and I might head up to Maine, continuing on with the fun parade. My class starts in a week, I'm gonna keep being with friends because that makes me happy, I start work for CMCB in a month or so, and from then on I'll be uber-busy. Everything will be okay, I'm sure.

More than anything though, I miss college. I miss my independence, my horribly messy dorm room, the entire collegiate atmosphere, and most of all my friends. But I'll email/IM you guys and talk to you all soon. Hope summer's going well for everyone.

At work this past week, Jeff and I were talking about our hometowns (Dedham and Norwood, respectively) and he said that Norwood people suck (though I was an exception, which made me happy) and we both concluded that our hometowns were now more like summer homes for us, which I agree with completely. This place really isn't my home anymore. Besides my house and the people who live here, I seldom feel a connection to the community. Again, sigh.

I promise future entries won't be as angsty.

<3 Jonah

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